It's the darkest time of the year and I should be more sleepy than usual. But no: even last night, after two doses of melatonin, I kept waking up every two hours. In the morning I simply gave up and got up. And yes, I feel horribly tired. I'm just not sleeping.
This is different kind of sleeplessness than before. I am in a way more calm (see previous entry), but at the same time I have no energy. I do the bare minimum and that's it. Too bad it seems to apply to sleeping as well. Last weekend I thought "well isn't this great, I have the whole Friday - Saturday night for myself and my bed."
I was up by 9 a.m Saturday morning. And I didn't feel rested at all.
Saturday was all for football, beer, a pre-X-mas party and meeting friends, so that night doesn't really count. You would think that Sunday night I'd be in bed by 21h.
Stayed up until midnight, hovering between conscious, sleep and dreams. Got up at seven after waking three times during the night.
This is clearly not fair. It's dark. I want more sleep. (Bon Iver's Calgary dreams to follow:)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Simple enough solution?
The last draft for this blog is from November 11th and it began like this:
"Sleeping while travelling is another funny thing. Normally the first night after arriving you are so tired that sleeps comes easily. The second night is more tricky, because of all the excitement over seeing new places and things - and sleeping in a new bed..."
I'm still signing all that and I think that writing about insomnia (or for me most of the time: the lack of it) while travelling is important, but now it's been a little bit too long, so I'd be able to grasp it elegantly (haha) right now. To put it shortly, I was away with a family for five nights, four days. I was quite stressed about the trip, and also about other things in my life before and after, so I basically didn't sleep at all during that trip. You can just imagine how exhausted I was when I came home and had to be back to work the very next day. It's almost like not "being there" at all. I was also stupid enough to have left all melatonin pills home.
But to be honest, the main reason I haven't written for a few weeks is that I've met someone that I both like AND I can sleep with. And yes, that's what I mean, exactly. I haven't "met someone" in a sense that I'm going to marry him next week - we're not an item, there's no serious gf/bf thing going on. And yes, by "sleeping" I actually mostly mean sleeping! Naturally that's not the way it started, but let's just say it's a very, very good side-effect of the whole relationship - and for the sake of my sleeping problems I DO hope that's the way it'll be for a while at least, because it's a good thing for me. (And he's a nice and interesting enough guy, which is a huge bonus.)
Funnily enough, I actually sleep better (and more hours!) when alone too - which means, most of the week. It must have something to do with relaxation, which is a bit odd, because at work or other parts of my life things are not any less hectic. But we'll see. I'm of course quite scared that by writing about it I'm jinxing it. Let's all hope not.
"Sleeping while travelling is another funny thing. Normally the first night after arriving you are so tired that sleeps comes easily. The second night is more tricky, because of all the excitement over seeing new places and things - and sleeping in a new bed..."
I'm still signing all that and I think that writing about insomnia (or for me most of the time: the lack of it) while travelling is important, but now it's been a little bit too long, so I'd be able to grasp it elegantly (haha) right now. To put it shortly, I was away with a family for five nights, four days. I was quite stressed about the trip, and also about other things in my life before and after, so I basically didn't sleep at all during that trip. You can just imagine how exhausted I was when I came home and had to be back to work the very next day. It's almost like not "being there" at all. I was also stupid enough to have left all melatonin pills home.
But to be honest, the main reason I haven't written for a few weeks is that I've met someone that I both like AND I can sleep with. And yes, that's what I mean, exactly. I haven't "met someone" in a sense that I'm going to marry him next week - we're not an item, there's no serious gf/bf thing going on. And yes, by "sleeping" I actually mostly mean sleeping! Naturally that's not the way it started, but let's just say it's a very, very good side-effect of the whole relationship - and for the sake of my sleeping problems I DO hope that's the way it'll be for a while at least, because it's a good thing for me. (And he's a nice and interesting enough guy, which is a huge bonus.)
Funnily enough, I actually sleep better (and more hours!) when alone too - which means, most of the week. It must have something to do with relaxation, which is a bit odd, because at work or other parts of my life things are not any less hectic. But we'll see. I'm of course quite scared that by writing about it I'm jinxing it. Let's all hope not.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I should be getting more of it
Hours slept during the weekend: best guess 10 in total
General feeling during the weekend: What, another party situation? I'm not fit to do any of this.
Hours slept between Sun & Mon: 9ish (with melat.)
General feeling yesterday: Surprisingly focused and efficient.
Hours slept last night: <6
General feeling today: My voice is gone, but I'm not sick - oh yes, the sleeplessness thing, right.
My irregular (weekly?), unthinkable aerobic exercise on a indoor bike seems to be paying off: last night so-called advanced level cycling felt way too easy. Or maybe it's just me. Felt tired right afterwards and was about to let it go early (no melat.), but for some reason ended up surffing the net until midnight and getting another dose of Stephen Fry's QI (wonderful show that is!), and then... So, tired: check. Relatively calm: check. Sleep well: uncheck...
Yeeees, I know it's the weekend I have to blame. After I turned 30, the recovery from the weekends (especially those nasty, unplanned two-day outings) requires one day, that is, Monday. Going to work is ok and doing stuff is ok (actually I'm quite efficient), but sleeping badly the last two or three nights makes it all fuzzy and funny. I'm surprised I was able to bike the whole program so well last night, usually it's my body that simply shuts down. Apparently it didn't. And no sleep either.
Here's the first single from Koria Kitten Riot's new album The Lows & the Highs. I have the honour knowing the guy and promote him gladly! (The whole album can be found from Spotify - or your friendly neighbour music store in Finland!)
General feeling during the weekend: What, another party situation? I'm not fit to do any of this.
Hours slept between Sun & Mon: 9ish (with melat.)
General feeling yesterday: Surprisingly focused and efficient.
Hours slept last night: <6
General feeling today: My voice is gone, but I'm not sick - oh yes, the sleeplessness thing, right.
My irregular (weekly?), unthinkable aerobic exercise on a indoor bike seems to be paying off: last night so-called advanced level cycling felt way too easy. Or maybe it's just me. Felt tired right afterwards and was about to let it go early (no melat.), but for some reason ended up surffing the net until midnight and getting another dose of Stephen Fry's QI (wonderful show that is!), and then... So, tired: check. Relatively calm: check. Sleep well: uncheck...
Yeeees, I know it's the weekend I have to blame. After I turned 30, the recovery from the weekends (especially those nasty, unplanned two-day outings) requires one day, that is, Monday. Going to work is ok and doing stuff is ok (actually I'm quite efficient), but sleeping badly the last two or three nights makes it all fuzzy and funny. I'm surprised I was able to bike the whole program so well last night, usually it's my body that simply shuts down. Apparently it didn't. And no sleep either.
Here's the first single from Koria Kitten Riot's new album The Lows & the Highs. I have the honour knowing the guy and promote him gladly! (The whole album can be found from Spotify - or your friendly neighbour music store in Finland!)
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