Overtiredness makes you double-dose

Hours slept last night: 8
General feeling: It's Saturday! No, I slept in! No, wait: it's Friday and I have to get up - soon.

Last night I was so desperate for rest that instead of relying on the tiring effect of cycling, I took double dose of melatonin and wished to sleep. Now, what happens with this on-off-relationship with M is, that if I don't take one every night whether I need it or not, the first night when taken, is q bit restless. Yes, I feel sleepy fast and even fall asleep relatively quickly, but then I start waking up in the middle of night several times. That's not fun, since the waking up situation is confusing and I feel "wide awake" for a few minutes. I don't even understand what day or time it is, but start checking the clock, the street outside etc. And then in the morning I could just go on and on.

Week of subtitutes, sort of

Horus slept in past two nights: <5 + <6
General feeling: Fall is finally getting the best of me, tired all the time.

Look mom, no melatonin! It's been a week of subtitutes. No drugs, just indoor cycling and such. Yesterday an intensive concert of Diamanda Galás, then straight to the Finlandia Gala of Maximum Halloween 3011 - both in a quite pleasant company. Always nice to get to know new, interesting people, especially while getting older it becomes more difficult (i.e. I'm simply not interested). Naturally in a proper film festival spirit the seance was late, so I wasn't home before 0h30. Should have drank that third beer can... But I don't really mind, as said, the discussions inbetween and after the concert and film were good.

Getting up yesterday and today has been a difficult task. It's like I'm still not awake and it's because of nights that are too short. I keep waking up quite often as well. I might have to try to go to bed early tonight. With melatonin (well, hel-lo...).

Playing since yesterday on constant repeat. 3''13' of pure dance. If anybody makes a dance lesson out of this, I'm in. Or whatta hell: I'll just do it when I get home.

"In the night"

Hours slept last night: 8? 7? Less? More?
General feeling today: Zzzzzzz

We have this saying in Finnish "se on ihan yössä", which translates simply as "s/he's quite in the night". It means that someone simply doesn't understand something and is a bit, emm, on a stupid side (on that particular matter, not necessary all the time). Today I feel like I'm in the night and I feel I'm on the stupid side more than usual. And it's not about the sleeplessness anymore - it's about not getting enough of it.

I wish I had eyes like they do in the end. Today mine are simply closed.

Damn you Monday, damn you

Hours slept last night: <6
General feeling today: Sore throat again! I refuse to be sick anymore.

I shouldn't even think about exercising when feeling like this: sore throat, constant exhaustion & muscle ache, tiredtiredtired. But then again, if I can engage myself to equally exhausting physical activities (i.e. sex and such), why couldn't I do a little indoor cycling as well? Aye, that is the question. I guess the answer is "in order to avoid premature heart attack". Also it does help with the sleep nowadays. No melatonin last night.

Weekend with or without sleep

Hours slept this weekend: 6 + 8
General feeling: Yes, definitely more sleep needed, but I'm heading to the right direction.

Just wondering in general, how much my need for sleep decreases when there's something social fun in sight. Normally I'm quite unable to go out on Fridays - except by accident, meaning straight to pub from work and being home, pleasantly drunk, by midnight. But this Friday I didn't even feel horribly tired and even had a pre-clubbing party at friend's home. Strange. Of course the partying and clubbing thing decreases the amount of sleep since I'm unable to sleep in properly after drinking too many Cosmos and Vodka Russians. The upside is that the following night I fall asleep quickly. Except for yesterday it didn't happen before 1 o'clock for some reason or another. And then this morning I just made myself get up 9.30 - to be sure that tonight the sleep comes as quickly as yesterday. Last night was also quite pleasantly spotted by dream adventures and detective stories of some kind. Very nice indeed.

Hugh Laurie kept me company the whole morning and parts of the afternoon. Thanks Hughie, you jazz!

I could go on and on and on...

Hours slept last night: 7
General feeling today: The start was just wonderful with the Likeminds, but then a ghost from the past ruined my day. Damn you.

Great news: I felt tired last night before ten and managed to fall asleep an hour later. Hooray for that! Even getting up wasn't overwhelmingly difficult - even though I could have keep on sleeping forever.

Boring news

Hours slept while suffering the flu: 9ish + 6ish (with cough)
General feeling during those 2,5 days: Where am I? Where am I coming from? Where am I going to?

Hours slept yesterday after physical excercise: <6
General feeling today: I know I'm in a meeting but could somebody tell me what am I doing here?

It's not so much the nasty flu feeling that kept me up the whole last week, most of the weekend, and the beginning of this week, but the cough. Damn it. Thank gods the doctor didn't hear anything funny whining in my lungs, so basically it just went down to being a good girl and swallowing down the prescription cough syrup (in general, hate taking any kind of medicine besides melatonin) and double doses of melatonin. I did fall into heavy sleep both on Monday and Tuesday, but the cough kept me awake some of the time during the night. Yesterday morning Ï was watching a film and didn't understand half of the plot (which was not that complicated), that tells you something.

Last night I was pretty much worn down by 2 hours of light sweating and I felt considerably tired right after. But the sleep never comes quickly after such a thing, I should have learned that already, so didn't fall to sleep until 1 o'clock. Trying to be a bit smarter today I went to a cycling lesson already at five. We'll see what happens.

And oh yes, just a observation: both on Tuesday and Wednesday I had a horrible headache. I never have a headache except when I have fever. It was really annoying. Hopefully it was not the combination of melatonin and dextromethorphan based cough syrup...

And look, tomorrow it's Friday already. Maybe some proper rest in sight!

I love Florence Welch. I'd like to do things I want and feel like doing like she does. Sigh.

Haze, buzz and all of them friends

Dear diary, it's been a while. Since leaving Miami on Sunday my flu got progressively worse, since there was absolutely no time to rest. Deadline was on Wednesday, then there was some socialising, film watching, more socialising, an opening of an artsy film office space, a spoken radio show, great dinner in Kolme Kruunua, Kaiser Chiefs' concert, film watching in a good company, listening a friend reciting poetry, some relationship problems and temporary relief, and finally, a great, great Sunday brunch, that lasted almost 7 hours... Sounds fun, huh? Well, add to that slight rise in temperature, runny nose and nasty cough. The lack of sleep didn't really help. It was an interesting week, but with constant tired, hazy feeling, I'm afraid I can't remember too much of it. And mind you, it was NOT the alcohol doing the trick this time.

Hours slept since Saturday 8th: 8 + 2 (on a plane, add the time difference of + 7 hours) + 5,5 + 6 + 2 (+2ish) + 5,5 + 6,5 + 5 + 4.

Superwoman over and out and off to sick leave until Wednesday.

It's all about the experience and being on the road

Hours slept last night: 3+2+2+2 (ish)
General feeling today: I could have managed the work day easily, but just look at the damn weather.

Well guess what: the combo of lurking jetlag and on/off flu with sore throat didn't make the night a pleasant one. I kept waking every two hours, admiring the storm over the city and sincerely hoping it'd go away by morning. It didn't, but just to make most out of the situation the mighty flu decided to kick in. I"m not even sure I can blame my Tuesday night adventures of my condition, but I felt quite feverish this morning. About the same feeling I had on Thursday multiplied by four. I was still ready to gogogo, but then looked outside. The lighting was gone, the steady rain was in, and then I got the call about the delayed pick-up and well: now we'll just have to see, if they come up with plan B. Personally I was ready to go back to sleep right after breakfast, hoping to drink tea the whole day and watch good movies. My inner clock is very confused over the situation. Or maybe it's just the flu.

To jetlag or not to jetlag

That really is the question I can't answer or influence the outcome in any way. I won't even write down the hours of last night (okay, okay, the answer is 2), because at the moment - thanks to crossing several time zones westward - my body clearly thinks it's something like 3 a.m. and I have been in a bar drinking merrily the whole night.

Well, I can tell you, I'm not. I even refused to have a "delicious Cuban mojito" two hours ago, because I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it back to the hotel safely. I flew a total of 13 hours today, from which I probably was asleep something like 2 or 2,5 hours. It's not bad considering that I have a fear of flying (aisle seat! aisle seat!) and the first leg was late for an hour so I had to run from the other side of Frankfurt airport to the other. Those of you who have been in that particular airport know that it's not a small one. I was very, very happy to notice that I'm in a pretty good shape. I was really able to run those hall ways for quite some time without being out of breath.

I'm still a bit fluish and that was the main reason I drank as many alcohol doses as I did once I sat safely in that second aircraft. Also has some flu medicine so the passing out was quite complete. But put of those 10 hours on air I was asleep only 2,5 at the most. That's sad.

Now I feel tired (quelle surprise), which is good because I should go immediately and sleep. It shouldn't be a problem and I hope tomorrow, the working day, will be ok in terms of that working part. And I've learned that it's easier to not to get a jetlag going west. The east is the problem, so we'll just see how it all works out on Monday. Also I won't start taking melatonin before Sunday afternoon. My body is messed enough without any extras already.

The music choice of the day. I've always liked Foals but I didn't realise they've made such a gem of a music video! And it's quite accurate for today as well.

Before it all goes down

Hours slept last night: Solid 8
General feeling the whole day: No wonder I felt heavy this morning, I'm coming down with something originating from Tuesday night.

As expected, after three nights with 11 hours of sleep, all one can do is go in to a temporary coma. I came home 21.45 and was in heavy sleep an hour later. I didn't even brush my teeth. I did wake up in the middle of the night twice, but went straight back. And the morning itself was horribly heavy. I felt a bit odd on the side, and yes, it is the flu that is trying to get the best of me. But no way I'm going to give in. I'll sleep in the plane tomorrow. Or something.

It was a busy day at work, with trying to get everything done. Now I'm watching Step Up 3, which is surprisingly good in its genre, and haven't still packed. Well, I have to get up at 3.45 anyway, so no sleep until, mm, Frankfurt?

The X factor

Hours slept last night: Anything between 3 and 6. Best estimate falls to 4.
General feeling today: I really, really should not complain today, but...

Ok, here's the thing: this Friday I'm leaving for a work-related weekend trip. It includes a total of 25 hours of flying in a plane, which gives you pretty good idea of which part of the world I'm going. I really don't know if I should laugh or cry, because after the past three nights I'm already jet-lagged! You know the reasons for the first two nights of this week, but last night sort of took me by surprise in more than one sense. That's something to write about in general in some point, but now I'm quite unable to concentrate on anything other than this day of work. Which starts right after the double espresso here. And rearranging my stuff from yesterday. And looking longingly the untouched bed...


Kele doesn't have anything to do with what happened, but his album seemed like energetic enough to start the day with.

Just before the most important days...

Hours slept: 3ish
General feeling: I'm fine now, but just ask me again before noon.

I was about to open my laptop four hours ago and start writing. I had this clear idea on why I'm not sleeping. So many things in my mind, going round and round. I felt sleepy around midnight despite of evening's cycling lesson, but then I just.... woke up. It's horrible to watch clock tick away to 1 o'clock, 1.35, 2.05. Or no, not really horrible. Now that I'm used to having these sleepless or few-hours-of-sleep nights, I'm imagining how the next day will be. I know I can manage routine things and simple writing, but for example writing this, in foreign language, is quite difficult. I'm slower and I have... to... think every.... word I'm we - writing.

It's a really hard week at work, because instead of five days, I only have four days to do everything. And there are two magazines to do, at least one longer article for me to write, and several little things. Also yesterday a few things changed in the room I work in. Not that the changes were unpleasant, the new people are interesting, but the hazzle and buzz is always making the days longer in a sense that I don't get as many things done.

No music links this morning. I got the new album of Chisu on mp3 yesterday, so that'll be my music for the tram trip.

Disruptions part II

Hours slept last night: 0,5 + 4 + n + 0,5
General feeling: Sleeping life is unfair. The harder you try, the less you get it.

Okay, maybe I should've skipped that dancehall lesson yesterday afternoon. Maybe I should've not satisfied my hunger with a pile of spinach risotto. Maybe I should've not thought about all things I have to get done in the next four days. It's not just work, but punch off other stuff as well. Like thinking about walking in to my dream home yesterday at noon and should I take any action on it. I even agreed going on a date before Friday. I must be insanely stupid to agree in all of that.

I was tired last night and pleasantly calm and decided that it's best just to go to bed. But what happened once again was the all-too-familiar tossing and turning routine. Add to that heavy drowsiness, so there was no point doing anything else while trying to fall asleep. And after I did go under, it felt like less than half an hour and I was awake again. And this kept happening 3 to 4 times during the night.

So now I'm not really up to days' work. And there'll be loads of it.

Morning with Zola Jesus: Ixode

7,5

Hours slept last night: 7,5

General feeling: Even though I took my time in getting up, I still feel drowsy. Another cup of Sunday coffee, anyone?

Based on this extensive academic study of less than a month, I'd say that on a normal, uninterrupted night I'm sleeping 7,5 hours. It doesn't seem like a whole lot. On the other hand, it's very, very average amount of sleep, even having that point five there after number seven. So I guess I am sleeping "enough" when I get at least that 7,5 hours of rest. Except last night I woke up three times. And I don't feel rested.

Another thing that really bugs me is the fact that it's a choice between going out with people and sleep. I like to go out and see my friends or even someone I don't know that well. I love going to concerts and happenings of different kind. Pretty much all those activities (not counting the occasional rendez-vous sportif) include staying up late, because they mostly take place in the evenings, and having at least that one glass of wine or pint of beer or shared bottle of sparkly wine. Trust me, I've tried to fool myself and everybody else a couple of times and just drank ginger ale or coke or water, but there's no difference: the quality of sleep gets worse the instant I even say "yes" to going to any gig or casual meeting. It's about being hyper over social situations and interacting with others. After every evening with friends I need at least an hour, hour-and-a-half to calm down. And then, oops, it's already 1 a.m., 2 a.m., 3 a.m...

This weekend has been special in a sense that Friday, as I wrote in the last entry, was an early night for me, and yesterday I got several basic things done, went to the gym, took my time in cooking etc. And it was so damn hard to say "no" to people who asked me out for one beer! I wanted to be out there, seeing the Saturday night in Helsinki once again, enjoy the wonderful weather and clear starry sky... But no, I switched that to the possibility of sleeping. And got 7,5 hours back. There's nothing more disappointing than getting the average on something.

Here's something very, very special I missed last night. Love the act, dislike the fact for not being there. Nightsatan featuring Albert Withcfinder (of Goblin): Mysterium. You're welcome.

Friday sleeps

The night between Friday and Saturday is critical, if you work from Monday to Friday, and spent most of your free time socialising. The latter activity usually containing alcohol.

Hours slept last night: 7,5 + 1
General feeling today: I should have not drank that third glass of rosé.

I survived last night pretty well. Only that I skipped the planned jogging and went to see an art performance instead. Before we had one glass of cider and afterwards two plus one glasses of rosé wine. Thank god the friend I was with was even more tired than I and had a teenager waiting at home. So I was home relatively early, after 22h and fell asleep surprisingly fast (for Friday), before 1 a.m. The annoying thing was the inability to sleep in. I woke up automatically 8 o'clock and forced myself to go back for an hour. Well, at least I got several things done before going to gym, like doing the dishes and the laundry, and all those small things I was supposed to do during the week.

Right now I'm fighting against the urge to go out for one beer/glass of wine. It's been good day and I actually might get a proper night's sleep without alcohol, even a small amount.