Monday, January 9, 2012

Life vs. Sleep

Let's be honest here: why keep a sleep diary, if you don't update it every day? The whole point of this project was to find out why I don't sleep, and when I do, it's irregular and not the healthiest option with the weekly variation between 3 and 11 hours (+-2 hours in both ends).

I guess the most obvious reason is that eventually I got tired of writing the same thing every single morning. There was apparently something wrong with my sleep hygiene - as they love to call it - as well as with my living habits. Those two haven't really changed. I still have the same bed, same room, same linen, same nighties, same woolen socks (okay, I do change the last three from time to time). I still have to take melatonin at least twice a week. My life is as irregular as ever. I try to find some routines, but then I realise that I don't really want them in my life. There's enough routine at work, so when I'm off, it has to be unplanned even if it's planned. Which apparently means sleeping is the first to suffer.

The time from Dec 20th to this moment has been interesting and turbulent, and I've even managed to sleep relatively well considering that so much has happened. A lot of good stuff has occured so far (I know I know, I'm jinxing it now), and I'm quite certain it will eventually come back to me. On the other hand I'm not imaging it to be any more or less than it is, so maybe, just maybe, it all evens out in the end and I get to be happy just a little bit, a little longer. That means more sleep, more smiling in the middle of the night, more dreams.

Hopefully also getting back to Of Sleeping more regularly. After all sleeping is so much more than having insomnia. It's just that the lack of something makes you think about it a lot more. Just like with Hank Williams' Rambling Man, here presented by Cat Power as a Woman:
"Well I love you baby
But you got to understand
When the lord made me
He made a ramblin' woman"

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